Friday 28 August 2009

Shut the ruddy gate!

It's very sad, really it is. It appears that there is a new and dread disease stalking the streets of Kensington and Chelsea, preying on poor unfortunates. It's an insidious illness, and at first glance you might not think there is anything wrong with those suffering from it. There's no strict template for those it strikes down; you could be young, old, tall, short, male or female, it makes no difference.

It seems that the victims can outwardly live a perfectly normal life. They can get up in the morning, they can dress themselves, they can care for their families. But the moment that they enter a gated enclosed play area for their children, the sickness strikes.

They are incapable of closing the gate behind them.

And it drives me blxxdy crazy. I mean, they've got to be ill, surely? Because otherwise, you would be forced to think that a person who walks into a playground full of babies, toddlers and young children and leaves the gate open behind them so that the little angels can wander off into the great unknown, must just be criminally stupid.

Fortunately for them, yesterday in Holland Park there was an increasingly flustered mother who kept an eye on the gate and when it was left open marched over to it, closing it with a emphatic clang and making terse remarks to the miscreant who left it open.

So if you were one of them and recall passing a harrassed looking woman muttering obscenities under her breath as she closed the gate behind you, don't worry, there was no need to say thankyou (which is lucky, since none of you did).

Just shut the frigging gate yourself next time...

11 comments:

  1. Ha! Can just picture you getting so frustrated. What is it with these people. You need to arm yourself with a pea shooter next time and hit them squarely between the shoulder blades as they depart. Won't make them shut the gate of course. Idiots.

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  2. I think you should write to K&C and ask them to fit one of those annoying springs to the gate, strong enough that it becomes self-closing. Or maybe just move to Moscow.

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  3. If Moscow is anything like Tuzla, you'll be dreaming of the safety of the fence and wishing there was a gate to shut...

    No idea about Russia, but Ben 10 is here in force. In English and Bosnian. Yay. I'm so happy. Just in case I thought that by hiding out in a remote corner of Europe we might be able to bypass all that stuff. Sigh.

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  4. Nicola, and the thing is you CAN just picture me getting me so frustrated. Isn't the world of blogging weird and wonderful?

    Iota, they used to have one of those gates but it broke. Oh well, I think you're right. Better do something crazy, like move to Moscow.

    Brit, you are right of course. Not a gate or fenced in play-ground did I see there last week. And I'll brace myself for yet more Ben 10...

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  5. I drives me insane when people can't think beyond their own little world to consider others. I've done exactly the same at our local park in Market Harborough. The scary thing is that most of the time it's parents doing it... aaaahhhh...

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  6. Same at our local nursery school. Insane!

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  7. Preach It Potty Mummy! Thankfully here most are the non-spring-loaded but still self-closing pool fence type gates... Please tell me though, what would PM do (WWPMD??) if a moron of a mummy WEDGED THE GATE OPEN because it was inconvenient for her that it kept closing because she didn't actually want to be in the playground with her own devil-spawn 2 year old???

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  8. You definitely need a self closing gate. Why did nobody think of that before. It's a very simple thing to install. We have a contraption on the outside door of the apartment building to keep the rif raf out. Surely you can arrange something?

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  9. MD, you're right, it IS parents. Who would no doubt be the first to call the newspapers if their little cherub was the one to go walk-about.

    Mwa, what sort of world do these people live in?

    Mummy McT, I think I would approach her and thank her for annointing herself warden of the gate and offering to make sure none of our children escape. Or would that be too subtle?

    Irene, they DO have one of those, but it's broken. Or, it was...

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  10. Are they fellow mummies?

    or nannies, I'm wondering...

    BM x

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  11. BM, sadly they could be either. Or dads, or grandparents, or older brothers and sisters...(you get the picture, I'm sure!)

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